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Tuesday
Show Date: 4/1/2008

Today is April Fool’s Day, a day to fool others, referred to as All Fool's Day in Poor Robin's Almanack in 1760.

• Today is St. Stupid’s Day in San Francisco, featuring the annual St. Stupid’s Day Parade.

• Today is Boomer Bonus Day, a day for everyone over 50. Boomers don't like to celebrate birthdays, so today is a non-threatening celebration.

• The annual Pro-Am Snipe Hunt is today in Moultrie, Georgia, along with the Snipe Ball, celebrating the return of the Denim Snipe from the brink of extinction. (Ask Beth Gay about the Snipe Museum and the Snipe-O-Rama race track.

• Today is National Hug Your Newsman Day, National Sourdough Bread Day, and Sorry Charlie Day.

• The name "April" may have been derived from Aphrodite, the ancient goddess of love. Or it may have come from the Latin verb asperire, meaning "to open," which could refer to spring blossoms.

• April birthstone: diamond; April flower: sweet pea or daisy.

• Today is National Fun Day and the beginning of Laugh at Work Week.

• April is Alcohol Awareness Month, Animal Cruelty Prevention Month, Become a Yardnerd Month, Cancer Control Month, Celebrate Diversity Month, Child Abuse Prevention Month, Couple Appreciation Month, National Kite Month, Donate Life Month, Holy Humor Month, Jazz Appreciation Month, National Knuckles Down Month, Keep America Beautiful Month, National Lawn & Garden Month, National Smile Month, Tackle Your Clutter Month, and National Child Abuse Prevention Month.

• Today is Fun at Work Day and Laugh at Work Week begins today.

• Today is Independence Day in Nunavut, an independent territory created in 1999 with an Inuit majority from the eastern half of Canada's Northwest Territories.



On this date in . . .

1778: New Orleans businessman Oliver Pollock created the dollar symbol ($) by adding a vertical line through a capital "S."

1853: Cincinnati became the first U.S. city to pay firefighters a regular salary.

1866: Congress passed a civil rights law guaranteeing equal rights to all persons born in the United States except Indians.

1889: The first commercial dishwashing machine in America was sold in Chicago.

1963: The soap opera General Hospital debuted on daytime television. The wedding of Luke and Laura in 1981 drew the largest audience ever to watch a daytime soap.

1967: The Country Music Hall of Fame opened in Nashville, a glass and brick museum shaped like a barn. The first inductees: Jimmie Rodgers, Hank Williams, Fred Rose, Ernest Tubb, Roy Acuff, and Tex Ritter.

1976: After Steve Jobs sold his Volkswagen and Steve Wozniak sold his programmable calculator, the two pooled their $1,350, created a computer circuit board in Jobs’ garage, and formed Apple Computer.

1985: Sports Illustrated carried a profile of a New York Mets wonderkid named Sidd Finch who could throw a baseball 168 miles an hour. Readers should have recognized an April Fool’s joke by the by-line: author George Plimpton, widely known for his hoaxes.

1990: It became illegal in Salem, Oregon, to be within two feet of a nude dancer.

1991: Doll doctor Cherie Gervais of San Rafael, California, closed her doll hospital after 18 years because of the rising cost of medical care. She continued to doctor dolls from her home.

1997: Russia’s Tass news agency reported that an alligator named Gena, hatched from a quail’s egg aboard the Mir space station, had bitten a U.S. astronaut. It was Tass’s best April Fool’s Day story.

1998: When a pit bull jumped a fence and attacked Bonnie, her German shepherd, 39-year-old Belinda Bechtold of Woodbridge, New Jersey, jumped in to save her dog. The pit bull finally let go of Bonnie’s neck when Belinda bit his ear as hard as she could. Bonnie had to have stitches, Belinda suffered scraped knees and a dislocated thumb.

2003: An ice cream maker in Fredonia, New York, introduced his newest flavor, suffering succotash. Scott Aldrich mixed corn and lima beans with vanilla ice cream and threw in pimentos for color. For more than 20 years, the Aldrich Beef and Ice Cream Parlor has made a bizarre flavor to honor April Fool's Day.

Birthdays: actress Ali MacGraw is 70;
actress Debbie Reynolds 76;
actress Annette O’Toole 55;
actor Sam Huntington 26;
singer Bijou Phillips 28;
singer Woody Lee 40;
singer Rudolph Isley 69;
singer Jim Ed Brown 74;
tennis pro Magdalena Maleeva 33;
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito 58.

Today is April Fools' Day, when fools foolishly try to fool other foolish fools before the other foolish fools fool them. Because foolishness is fun.

Today is April Fools' Day, honoring fools everywhere, not just in (Washington).

The idea of April Fools Day is to deceive people, make them believe something that’s not true. And if you’re really good at it in April, you can be elected in May.

National Lawn and Garden Month begins on April Fools' Day, which is very appropriate. Because you can avoid lots of stress if you can fool yourself into believing that weeds are beautiful wildflowers.

Many pranks will be played today, so remember this distinction: persons who perform trickery are called tricksters, and the people being tricked are called voters.

An April Fool is anyone who:
-- thinks the NBA Playoffs will eventually get exciting.
-- believes beer commercials.
-- bets big money on how much Oprah Winfrey will weigh in December.
-- believes you can save the environment by recycling old congressmen.

April is Alcohol Awareness Month. Personally, I don't think anybody would ever drink alcoholic beverages -- if they could just smell their own breath.

Alcohol Awareness Month is not as big as it use to be, since only winos and children drink anymore.
Unfortunately, a lot of the children are in college—proving to each other how hard it is to grow up when you’re drunk.

April Fool’s Day goes way back to the Roman Empire, where every year Caesar would point at everybody in the Senate and say, "Your sandals are untied."
And, "Your toga’s open in the back."
And everybody would laugh and eat some more grapes.

Today is April Fools' Day and, of course, it's ever so much more meaningful since this is an election year.

In Scotland, April Fooling is called "hunting the gowk." A gowk is a cuckoo, which pretty much sums up the whole idea.

An April Fool is anyone who thinks bug killer will kill bugs or that weed killer will kill weeds.

The U.S. House of Representatives held its first regular meeting on April Fool's Day in 1789. Why is that not surprising?
And in the true spirit of democracy still evident to this very day, they sat right down on that first day and voted themselves a pay raise.
Why is that not surprising?

Nobody knows who started April Fool jokes, but some believe it was the Cro-Magnon Man, after he fell out of a fig tree and landed on his head.

Newfoundland became a Canadian province on this day in 1949. So in Canada today everybody's pulling April Newfy jokes.

Gerry Harley of Gillingham, England, set a world shaving record on this day in 1971 -- with a straight razor!
He shaved 130 men in one hour, one man every 27 seconds. He didn't want to stop -- but he ran out of tourniquets.

On this day in 1868 the Canadian government introduced 3-cent postage. Today it takes 3-cents worth of spit just to lick the envelope.

April is National Garden Month, time to celebrate the joys of gardening, time to plant tiny seeds knowing they will be transformed miraculously into luscious, juicy, life-sustaining vegetables. And if you're really quiet, you can hear all those little green worms licking their lips.

On April Fool's Day in 1929 Louis Marx sold his first yo-yo. It was a good business, but it had its ups and downs.

April is National Humor Month and National Sexually Transmitted Diseases Awareness Month. So get ready for four full weeks of herpes jokes.

Today is April Fools' Day. I once knew a fool named April. She ran off to Boston to become a cross-country ballet dancer. That's how I knew April was a fool.

Dr. William Harvey, the British physician who discovered how blood circulates, was born on this date in 1578. And on the same date in 1898 the first car was sold in the U.S. The interesting thing about these events is that medical machines make your blood circulate and car prices make your blood boil.

On April Fools' Day in 1970 President Nixon signed a bill banning cigarette advertising on U.S. radio and television. U.S. leaders didn't want to lead children astray with cigarette commercials between the scenes of drug abuse, rampant sex, and mass violence.

Today is April Fools' Day, a scary day when every immature joker around is trying to fool you. Unlike every other day, when it's just the politicians.

On this date in 1960 the U.S. launched its first weather satellite. Not to be confused with weatherman (Willard Scott), who has been mistaken for a hot air balloon.

The U.S. Department of Health, Education, and Welfare was created on this date in 1953. Somebody should have told the creators that anybody with health and education wouldn't need the welfare.

William Harvey, the first doctor to discover how blood circulates through the human body, was born in Kent, England, on this date in 1578. People in Harvey's time had better circulation than people today because in those days they didn't wear Spandex.

On this day in 1979 a woman in Tarrytown, New York, climbed out of her swing after setting a 7-day, 17-hour world endurance record for swinging. It had quite impact on her social life; the men were standing in line when they heard she was a real swinger.

Today is April Fools' Day, the only day of the year we should take seriously what political candidates say.

On April Fools' Day in 1931 Nevada legalized gambling. The Nevada desert was a great place to build casinos. You could get a tan at the same time you lose your shirt.

Today is April Fools' Day. I think we should move April Fools' Day to Election Day. That way we'd only get fooled once a year.

Louis Marx sold his first yo-yo on this day in1929. Some people get Louis Marx, the toy maker, confused with Karl Marx, the father of communism. But here's an easy way to tell them apart: Louis Marx invented the yo-yo; Karl Marx was a yo-yo.

Today is April Fools' Day, when someone might try to pull the wool over your eyes. Except in radio, of course, when we might try to pull it through your ears.

I would never try to fool anyone. I am a completely 100 percent reliable totally humble hunk.

Although its origin is unclear, April Fools' Day may have started with the ancient Festival of Huli, when it was customary to send fools on useless errands. Today, of course, a person who goes on useless errands is not a fool -- he's a vice-president.

On this day in 1977 a Dover, Delaware, man had himself buried alive, vowing to stay buried 102 days to set a new world record. The man soon learned, however, the record actually was 217 days and the Guinness Book of World Records had discontinued the "Buried Alive" category because it was too dangerous.
So after only 12 days the man had himself unburied alive.
I can dig it.
I wonder if he was too late to get a refund on the coffin?

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